30.12.15

God, light my eyes to see
your secrets hidden within the words of the book
you so lovingly placed in my hands.
a gift you have given,
and your gift i have recieved;
please enlighten my heart to understand this great thing that has happened.
.....
you: faithfully opening the eyes of the blind who are in love.
me: dancing freely and trusting you to keep me from harm.
i cant see my own feet,
but i feel your arms sheilding me.
i havent fallen on asfault;
ive floatd in the dangerzones,
past the warning signs.
no one pulls me aside:
they must sense purpose in my seemingly aimless display of affection.
.....
i wish i could actually dance with these confused feet
upon the ground where all have traud;
a blessing in the dust
as it swirls around in celebration.
i wish to give you that:
the humble gift of a servant girl.
.....
as foreigners we offer a home to the lost.
the accepting remain unaccepted;
the loving remain unloved
because we offer a hope that sets to light the darkness:
they would rather be powerful for a moment
than loved for eternity.
.....
you can tied my wrists to the table
palms up
and send pain down my arms
into my body;
you can take me from myself
diget by diget;
you can have my emotions on a tight rope,
weaving back and forth between day and night;
you can stretch my mind
across a century of infinite time;
but my soul is his,
and so my mind is his,
and my heart is his,
and my body is his.
i do not fear you.
you can harm my body,
but not my soul.
if i live, i live.
if i die, i live.
my grave has been put beneath me
if he allows you to touch my nerve endings and gray matter,
the scars of your finger prints will fade from my timeline
when eternity meets me on the other side of the threshhold
when i leave this orphanage to meet my father.
.....

k.g.

copyright 2015
wake up! wake up!
the baby is in the well!
i forget that i fell
down near the river.
you make me shiver.
the wind whisperes too many things;
i cant rememeber when the bell rings.
i failed the test on my way back home;
now i'll forever be alone.
shake me till i fall asleep.
i fell so deep.
im so wrong in the head.
can we go home instead?
shut up! shut up!
where did you go?
i told you i dont know!
i cant remember my name.
i know this is all a game.
it shines too brightly.
i cry for you nightly.
i wont tell you im afraid.
i wish you had stayed.
wake up! wake up!
its not enough.

k.g.

copyright 2015

29.12.15

put it to rest;
all of the things that float around my head
threatening to devour my conciousness.
put me to sleep and give me peace;
devour my dreams instead.

k.g.

copyright 2015

27.12.15

one day we shall all see your face
and bask in the glory of your grace,
but till then we sing praises
thru the seasons and fazes.

for dark our eyes had been
when you came down and took our sins
from our shoulders
and places them upon your back.

what is this thing that we lack;
causing us to lie destitue
at your feet?
shed mercy upon us.

in despair ive raised my eyes;
my god, i felt forsaken
before i trembled beneath the weight
of your gift of revalation.

i sleep in peace because you guard my head
from the death that tries to crawl into my bed,
and i rise again to see the light
because you take hold of and shackle the night.

you let the tears stream down my face
when i was in a dying place,
but lord, you held my head up high
when i embraced the desire to die,

but i did not see your hand in the matter.

k.g.

copyright 2015
tear out the ribbons wrapped around my soul;
make me whole.
im tired of being broken down,
tired, and worn out.
when do i get this new body
that is stronger than the first?
i cant hear you,
i cant see you,
i cant feel you.
i miss you.
when i cant feel you here
i feel like the real me died
and i am nothing but my shell of charaters.
they play me till i drop
trying to express the sorrow in my heart.
i need you in a desperate way.
like a lily needs rain,
but drowns in its drops.
and this is us:
you give me all i need,
and i try to give back what i can,
but i have next to nothing.
and only until i feel abandoned do i love you...
the shame of it weight upon me when i am humbled.
lord, teach my heart to be content
and love you when im told im unloved.
teach my ears not to believe the lies
i used to hold in my heart;
that i still cling to when the lights go out
and i am alone again.
be the stars to my night
so i can gaze upon your beauty when silence falls.
break me of my anxieties
so that i can shake hands with fear
and tremble in your presence instead.
let love light up my life
and tear the veils away from my eyes.
still i will lift my hands when i cant see
and let the rain role down my arms
and mingle with the tears on my face,
because you are faithful in the dark times.

k.g.

copyright 2015
there are moments when the infinite nature of the universe
overpowers me, and i am left with fragments of thought.
to think that the words of the divine being dispersed
the stars into the night sky, far surpasses anything
that i was taught. imagination only goes so far before
you realize you cannot see anything from where you are.

k.g.

copyright 2015
why do we find ourselves falling asleep
when we are meant to be waking up?
shine your light so bright
it opens up my eyes
to see your glory moving
thru the room.
why have i limited what i cannot see
are there rules that confine mysteries?
shake the earth beneath my feet
so that i must stand upon the rock to keep from falling.
ive tied this rope around my wrists;
take it from me and guide me in the way i should go
because i dont know the way.
these eyes are blinded be years of slumber,
my finger stiff from lack of use,
and my mind is tired.
i have filled it with the debris that was given me
when i ask for truth.
my heart is shreded
from something i thought was love.
i have so little to give.

k.g.

copyright 2015

11.12.15

Maybe i ask too much

will you not come find me?
im alone here in a dark place
and the black is surrounding me.
i can fight an enemy,
but how to i defeat smoke?
what weapons do i have 
that can compete with air?
am i helpless against this mess
of confusion i feel around me?
have i lost my mind somewhere in my wonders
so that now i have lost control
of my train of thought?
has a curse been placed upon me
that i must think i fragments of sentences
and not complete my ponderings,
but leave them hanging 
from the cieling of my mind
like broken chandeliers?
what must one do to achieve clarity
in this world of darknss?
how bright must my light be 
to see the ground in front of me?
where will i go when the dust settles;
when the stars cease their shining for the night?
i often find myself in these midnight hours
between myself and strife.
happiness has become my soul
and yet i feel broken
not whole.
what must i do that fills my heart
so that i might not feel like
separate pieces
all fitted together.
i feel lighter than a feather
but heavier than led.
the moonlight is cold and i want to crawl
into bed,
but i feel that i must fight tonight
for the sake of preserving 
tomorrows daylight.
but who am i too think im special;
knowing more than my share?
who am i to keep on going;
to assume someone will be there
to catch me when i fall
when i dont deserve it at all?
who am i to be given faith
when the faithful suffer more?
and who am i to be given love
when ive locked so many doors
after slamming them in so many faces?
but maybe even the least of these
is given a glimpse of the forthoughts
of our father.
maybe even the smallest child 
is lifted onto his shouders
and shown a sliver of the world
for what it really is.
maybe im privaleged enought to be the smallest.

k.g.

copyright


15.11.15

You're far away.
I started running before I chose
To look back.
But now a year has passed and we have gone
So far
From where we began that winter night
When I looked into your eyes and saw a light.

Put joy into my hollowed bones,
And here I will make for myself a home.
I'll say I love you even in my sleep,
And I'll smile even when I weep.

Put music into my empty lungs,
And I will go back to when we had just begun.
I will sing to you once again
Only this time of beginnings without ends.

You walked away.
You never saw the light I held
Within my heart.
You were blinded by all the times I fell
Apart.
When darkness fell, I fell too hard;
Shattered into pieces to discard.

Put joy into my hollowed bones,
And here I will make for myself a home.
I'll say I love you even in my sleep,
And I'll smile even when I weep.

Put music into my empty lungs,
And I will go back to when we had just begun.
I will sing to you once again
Only this time of beginnings without ends.

There are days
I wish that you could see me
Dance,
Cuz it took time but I learned
Balance.
What was once under lock and key
I set free.

Now it's time
To move on to a place
I can call mine.
And all the pain, I'll turn it into
Rhyme.
I no longer wish that I could just rewind,
Because I've chosen to leave it all behind.

Put joy into my hollowed bones,
And here I will make for myself a home.
I'll say I love you even in my sleep,
And I'll smile even when I weep.

Put music into my empty lungs,
And I will go back to when we had just begun.
I will sing to you once again
Only this time of beginnings without ends.
Honey, we don't have to pretend
That our beginning will never end.

k.g.

Copyright 2015

14.11.15

Will I never get to touch you,
Or say I love you?
Will I never sleep next to you;
Cry with you?
September has come and gone.
He was not the one.
Oh, how I've longed to see your face
Smiling down at mine!
My heart has been so confined
Not being able to touch you.
It's a mystery to me
How the heart can miss
He who it has not seen.
Meet me under starlight
And I will be your midnight.

k.g.

Copyright 2015
She shot me in the heart with a gatling gun
Till it was all over the floor and I was done
Bleeding. My heart ripped to shreds in my body
Kept beating. It would not stop till the rest were too
Conceded to know they were dying
From their own gun shot wounds.
They didn't see my revolver.

k.g.

Copyright 2015
Break me!
Break me till there's nothing left to break!
I left him by the river side.
Those who drown don't come back.
I want to be so broken
I can never break again!
I don't want to break again,
And again,
And again...
Again and again...
Round and round goes the carousel
Turning relentlessly in circles.
Do you remember the night I said
I'd never say goodbye?
Goodbye, old love!
New has not yet been met.
He left me by the riverside.
He did not come back for me
He did not come back...
Silly girl.
Only children sing.

k.g.

Copyright 2015

How do I love
When love is lost
Amid the valleys I left behind?
I stand upon the mountain I climbed;
I am alone.
There's nothing's at the top,
But neither was there anything bellow.
Was I born into an empty realm
Where we sing for the pennies of the tone deaf?
Do not tell me how to sing my song
Unless you are willing to compose its music.
I have fallen here in the rubble of my thoughts;
My feelings are a pit of vipers.
Your words are hyenas surrounding me;
Laughing at me.
Devour me, oh song of the dying!
I've lost myself in your grasp.
My lungs are a machine.
They've conspired with my heart against me.
They plan to keep me alive.
Someone help me.
Please?

k.g.

Copyright 2015

10.11.15

Breathe on my bones
And make me come to life.
I want to feel the fire in my eyes.
Do hear the wind whispering to us?
Yes, it speaks of forboding things.
It's been a long time
Since I felt love 
Hide me in his arms.
You left so quickly
The goodbye got stuck in my throat.
I'm still choking on it.
It's a frightful thing to love,
But it is far worse to lose it.

k.g 

Copyright 2015